How responsible for our choices are we? Really?
Take a look at this quote:
“Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It’s not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument, or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make, period.” – Brenda Slavin
Many might say that the quote is harsh, incorrect and even ‘simplistic’. In some respects they are right.
On the other hand, large numbers of people would agree with the quote. I do, to an extent – see my article: I’m Tired Of People With Mental Health Issues Using Them as Excuses For Evil
So what is right?
The thinking outlined in the quote is often misused.
Among other things, such thinking can be used:
- To berate people
- To look down on people
- To blame people
- To excuse the need to help people
- To be nasty
- To abuse people
- To stigmatize others
- To fuel self righteousness and sanctimoniousness
- To excuse inability to help
- To avoid the need to look at your own life
- To feel powerful
- To legitimize erroneous schools of thought – an example: why my grandparents got bombed during the Blitz of 1940.
Now we have some idea of the problem, I will further illustrate the point that we can be BOTH responsible and not responsible for the choices and decisions we make.
The issue lies with the subconscious mind.
You see, when thinking is deeply lodged in our subconscious mind, we are under its control.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” – Carl Jung : https://psychementoring.com/5216/make-unconscious-conscious-will-direct-life-will-call-fate-carl-jung/
Some people are ‘mental cripples’ due to their subconscious thinking. Some of us extend courtesy and understanding to physical cripples, yet we have no patience or tolerance for ‘mental cripples’. Some will trot out the quote above with a self-satisfied lick of the lips as they berate someone.
We are indeed responsible for fixing our subconscious issues – this responsibility was a key facet of my own freedom from severe mental illness, for example.
If we either do not know how to fix the subconscious mind issues, nor know, or have access to, someone who does, then how ‘responsible’ are we?
By their nature, subconscious mind issues are not conscious, or ‘obvious’. So many people are ‘in the dark’ about the extent of their problems, or even that they have them. If you don’t know that you have a problem, how responsible are you? We don’t blame children for their lack of knowledge do we? We help them.
This whole issue of personal responsibility is a ‘two edged sword’. We are responsible and yet we are not responsible; depending on the situation and the extent of our knowledge/resources.
The start of the solution is to decide that you will recover; that you will uncover and destroy/heal the subconscious issues troubling your life; that you will find a way to get results and that you will stick with it until you are free.
Unfortunately there are multitudes of mental health/counselling ‘professionals’ out there who don’t know how to help people on the very deep subconscious levels. People seeking solutions can be severely hindered in making progress. I know because I had that experience years ago, I know because of what I hear from my clients today, I know because of what I hear ‘around the traps’ of mental health discussion and debate, I know because a good friend (Professor of Psychology) said so.
We need to turn our focus toward educating people on how they can effect deep subconscious mind change. Then they will be more ‘responsible’. They will recover too.
If you are someone in need of help please contact me for more information. I am a veteran of experience. I can help you in person, via online counselling (Skype), or via phone counselling.
If you are a mental health professional and want to learn how to help your clients, or even yourself, alter the deep subconscious mind then likewise, get in touch. It does not matter if you are a ‘competitor’ – I am about helping people; the more the better.