The festive holiday and new year season is, for many people, a time of argumentative discussions, disagreements and stress; which can have nasty undertones – a minefield for relationships.
Here’s information about how you can improve your relationships this festive season.
One of the key life principles I use is learning from experts, from some of the best available. For example: I learn some self defence from a former Warrant Officer in 22 SAS who trained British and allied Special Forces in close combat.
Today I want to talk about the insights of Dr Gleb Tsipursky, a ‘Disaster Avoidance Expert’, consultant, speaker and author, who advocates proven behavioral science-based strategies for avoiding disasters.
Dr Tsipursky has written an excellent article in the Scientific American blog, which I enjoyed immensely:
EGRIP: (Emotions, Goals, Rapport, Information, Positive Reinforcement)
I recommend that you read the article more than once and take time to reflect on how you can incorporate the Doc’s strategy into your discussions. You will pass the time with family and friends this festive season anyway, so it may as well be better spent enhancing your relationships, and the lives of those around you, instead of acrimony. Perhaps write notes and plans on how you will use this material.
This is a good illustration of how, if you spend time gaining greater wisdom, your life, and the lives of those you know, will improve significantly. Life is hard enough as it is without adding troubles due to a lack of insight and knowledge.
Short of time to learn?
Reframe your perspective and consider the time you will save by using better skills, consider the stress you will avoid. We know that stress is bad for health too, so the more you can avoid the better. Swap out activities giving a poor ‘return’ with investing the time saved in building wisdom.
Learn about confirmation bias, empathy, rapport, truth, fake news and more.
Self deception, a form of delusion, is a terrible thing. Crap in your head. Over 30 years ago, when I began my journey of mind healing, I realised that I must set my inner compass to seek truth, regardless of my opinion, or the pain involved. It has been well worth it.
Dr Tsipursky’s book on the subject is The Truth-Seeker’s Handbook: A Science-Based Guide.
I also recommend reading the Scientific American, even if you don’t subscribe; they have many free articles.
“How do you know whether something is true? How do you convince others to believe the facts? Research shows that the human mind is prone to making thinking errors – predictable mistakes that cause us to believe comfortable lies over inconvenient truths. These errors leave us vulnerable to making decisions based on false beliefs, leading to disastrous consequences for our personal lives, relationships, careers, civic and political engagement, and for our society as a whole. Fortunately, cognitive and behavioral scientists have uncovered many useful strategies for overcoming our mental flaws. This book presents a variety of research-based tools for ensuring that our beliefs are aligned with reality. With examples from daily life and an engaging style, the book will provide you with the skills to avoid thinking errors and help others to do so, preventing disasters and facilitating success for yourself, those you care about, and our society.”