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My background, some thoughts on Life Coaching and why I am able to help you…..
The word “Coaching” can conjure all sorts of images in our minds, not all of them pleasant or positive. I am seeking to not only help you to meet your specific need, but also to help you benefit in other ways. As a Life Coach I aim to create an environment which is invigorating and fulfilling.
We all have enormous potential, much of which is usually underused. I would like to help you develop your abilities and your coaching will be designed in a holistic manner – you will learn things that will not only help with your specific need, but which can also be used in your work and other aspects of your personal life. I will seek to make the coaching as relevant, interesting and pleasant as possible.
I will now relate some personal experiences, which I hope will illustrate some key principles of personal growth and an effective life.
When I was very young, a child, an adolescent and even into my twenties, I suffered from extremely severe emotional, psychological & spiritual abuse/neglect. This caused me all sorts of problems including depression, an inability to relate to people, severe introversion, poor self-esteem, irrational & reckless behaviour. All in all it had an unusually destructive effect. Many who know me today would have no idea of what I was like, and perhaps some would even have trouble believing what I have said.
So, how have I managed to overcome the problems I had, and how is it relevant to the coaching program?
Well, I certainly wasn’t Superman – I was a mess and essentially couldn’t think straight. I searched for answers and discovered key principles – I had the personal experience of “rebuilding” my mind with these. So I know they work. In some respects this is an involved subject and I will not delve too deeply here, however many of these principles can be applied to the coaching environment.
A key thing I discovered is that I was actually a worthwhile and valuable person – not because of any ability or other “measure”, but because I was a person. I deserved to be valued. I realised though that most people couldn’t care less about me, especially if I had problems! “They” were not going to change. I learned that the thing that could change was how I viewed myself. I had been conditioned to think that I was no good and not worth loving. That was how I saw myself deep inside. Because I saw myself that way I continued to see myself in that light, behaving and thinking accordingly, which helped me to become……..an %$#@*&.
So, it was up to me to change. Others weren’t going to change and they certainly weren’t going to be able to change me. I guess that encouraged me to realise that I had to take personal responsibility for the change in my life. I had had so much rubbish in my life that I was only interested in things that actually worked – and I knew that they had better be exceptionally good, nothing less would solve my problems.
Another thing that hit me was that whilst I was academically inclined & qualified, I didn’t know a lot of the stuff that really mattered. I could see too that if I thought I knew the answer I would carry on the same old way.
I had to open my mind and habits to new ways of doing things.
Negativity was another problem area – I had done loads of negative thinking and it was getting me nowhere fast. It had many guises – hanging onto blame for the people who mistreated me for example. Whilst I was busy blaming I wasn’t going anywhere. Negative thoughts were a blockage to progress – life is full of examples where a change of thinking from negative to positive has made a huge difference. We will all recall the positivity of top athletes and sportsmen and women.
“Comfort zones” were a problem – it took effort to step outside the boundaries – to stretch and grow. Sport is yet another example of this principle in action.
I was also worried about making mistakes – but mistakes are part of progress. If I was not making mistakes I wasn’t really trying – I certainly wasn’t making any headway. Making a mistake didn’t mean I was no good.
Another key thing I realised was the power of faith, which is of course related to positive thinking. I am not speaking here of religious faith, but a decision to believe that change was not only possible, but that it would result in real and lasting benefits.
As time passed I became increasingly aware that there was a lot more to the mind that I realised, and that I could take “shortcuts” in my quest for progress by learning from others – their mistakes, successes and so on. I studied many books, listened to all kinds of successful people and did various courses of study too. A key facet of all this was keeping a humble mindset – being willing to learn, and to let go of sometimes deeply entrenched beliefs.
My value and consideration for others started to improve, particularly as I gradually learned of my own value. And that was another point; much of what was happening was gradual. If I fell down, I picked myself up again and pushed on. Sometimes things looked as if they were getting worse – a key analogy is learning touch typing for example. When one learns, initially the typing is slower. One continues because one knows that with practice, the effort will be worthwhile and so much time will be saved in the long run. So, here faith and practice are combined. Practice also helps to break habits – we all have habits that will initially be resistant to change. Top sportspeople all train regularly and they are at the pinnacle of their fields.
And have I “arrived” today? No, in fact more than ever, I am aware of the continual journey onward. I find life so exciting and rewarding now. I appreciate it when someone helps me, shows me a better way. I like myself today and do not feel threatened when told I am “wrong”. And here’s something that makes me chuckle – imagine if someone nastily criticises me and there is an element of truth in it. They think they are making me feel uncomfortable etc – what they don’t know is that I look at the criticism, extract any truth in it and use that as a stimulus for further growth. A different way of looking at the world, but then we all have a choice. Problems will always happen. It is what we do with it that matters, and only we can decide. So every day I make a decision to try and see the best, and derive the most, out of every situation.
I have only scratched the surface with the above – life is full of exciting possibilities and I will do all I can to help you to improve not only your specific need, but if you wish, your life in general.
As a postscript, today I genuinely feel sorry for the people who mistreated me – not in a condescending or patronising way – they are suffering terribly and have empty “souls” because of the way they think. Whilst I would never want to go through it again, I am actually immensely grateful now because I was able to derive such good and learn so much from the experience of overcoming it all. So, in an unexpected way I am actually thankful for these people. I guess when I realised that I felt that way, I truly knew I was healed.
“Each indecision brings its own delays and days are lost lamenting over lost days…What you can do or think you can do, begin it. For boldness has magic, power, and genius in it.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
1749-1832, Poet, Novelist, and Scientist
So, if you want to make a difference in your life or business then please get in touch today – there is no obligation – just make the call, email or send a letter. Be someone who takes action.
More on life coaching…
Life Coaching helps ensure that you get your daily life operating at optimum effectiveness, so helping sharpen your life skill-sets. Whenever you make use of a life coach, you invest in becoming your very best, as well as in the lives of other people; who are affected by the ‘new’ you. A life coaching relationship is straightforward and operating with a life coach creates a solid foundation for the success you need most in your life. I will ask you what you know, or think, you need to be asking of yourself in everyday life in order to function at your ideal best. Life focus, life motivation, life path, life management and life outcomes will be far better whenever you utilize a skilled individual and professional life coach.
Life coaching isn’t as well recognized as it ought to be, since it is a confidential and private practice. Clients deservedly get all the rewards as well as basking in the honor through accomplishing their coaching objectives. It’s not the place nor the objective of a life coach to be credited. In reality, a substantial amount of life coaching clients (Particularly executives, management and leaders) regard their life coach as their own Secret Weapon. I am discreet and at times clients prefer to refer to life coaching (or even counselling) as business coaching or consulting.
Life coaching is an alliance for transformation. Life coaching will certainly produce beneficial impetus within your lifestyle. It is a potent force to possess a life coach who genuinely believes in you, recognizes the very best within you, and who encourages precisely what is appropriate for you within your life currently. Retain my life coaching services and choose today to triumph over any challenges which stand between you and your dreams.
Life coaching may be carried out on the telephone or Skype in the convenience and comfort of your home or office if you prefer. Some local people choose to be coached person (my office is located in Southport – or I can come to your home or office/business.) Many people currently have full and hectic lifestyles and some may well not like to wrestle with traffic or adverse weather conditions. Travel time may be an issue also. Life coaching via phone or Skype is therefore a practical choice for them. Location is really no barrier.
Life coaching addresses both the present and future. It creates your future. The life coaching I provide you with is therapeutic, however it’s not therapy. Counselling and psychotherapy typically deal with deeper thinking problems and restorative healing, and involves doing work with the past in addition to the present – I provide that as a separate service and many life coaching clients benefit from it. For anybody caught within stressful circumstances, I can assist you to get back in the driver’s seat. I focus on coaching you on how to shift into a positive state of mind and remain there so that you possess the power to succeed regardless of what life produces.